I usually start my post with a situation or a few examples where you could easily relate yourself to or some joke to laugh at to cut the steam but today, I rather do something a little personal. Maybe a column is just like your diary, but you share, advise people the things you learned and conclude with a smile. Today is different, just different.
Since last year, I told myself that once I met the right people in life, I will not make the same mistake, I will not be a nasty bitch that always throw temper, I will always listen even though I just want to smack them in the face for being so ridiculous at times or maybe just be the person I always knew I was instead of being a nice girl who listens.
Then, I realize, I’ve been trying too hard.
If Blair Waldorf can be a bitch and get away with it along with Chuck Bass, I don’t mind a Dan Humphrey either. Regina George has personal victimized every single one in North Shore High School and even till now, she’s a legend next to Lord_Voldemort7. Heinous bitch is the term most used to describe Kat Stratford but she definitely had Heath Ledger quit smoking for her.
So today, if Bernice Goh decided to put a little more eyeliner, smirk when your skirt shows a little too much down there or even stop being the one every thought she was. I wonder, I sure wonder, how long I will laugh until someone says “I know you, you’re not like this.”
Damn right, you’ve got that wrong.
So I’ve decided, where else to dedicate a post of love-hate towards to express the inner me to the outer world and the whole lot of little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere.
To those who has a pathetic emptiness in your meaningless, consumer-driven lives (except Shu Yao, of course),
If lying is acceptable, then I can swallow, breathe and continue scheming until I’ve gotten all I wanted. If lying is to gain sympathy, then I’d only want it from the only man I love: Jesus Christ. If lying is all I have to do in life, then good, I’m half way there.
I do not lie to fit in, I fit in to lie. I believe when I die, God will pull a long list of lies I’ve told and it just goes on and on and on and on... I also believe that my lies are not harmful as I’ve never spread rumours about someone nor lie about someone’s family background and couldn’t keep up with my story. I lie to make some people feel better about themselves, I lie to make myself seem like a better person, I lie to lied.
It may be ironic to some to put such a Holy name and Holy man into an armature’s scrape of words into a post like this. But if this column reflects my life, then He has been the man in it. Enough said.
Maybe by learning through my mistakes, I told myself to never ever be the one people used to hate, bitch and whatever they did. So I changed into a spontaneous chic who has most people close and lovely people closest, and what they have in common is they all like the girl I tried to be.
Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow, it might be a new day for my fresh start. I’m not troubled, I’m just tired. Tired of being nice, tired of keeping myself within and tired of every single lie I told because I miss the honesty that will make the line frown.
Not too late now? Don’t say I didn’t warn you, the bitch will be back.
Credits: Quotes from Ten Things I Hate About You
