The Crowd with the Updates.

                Just at this very moment, the clock ticks within seconds leaving behind the mistakes we made while the breeze blows off the prints we left against the sand yet some people are talking, we still can see people manipulating and most importantly, the air you breathe is fucking your mind. Now, allow me to enlighten you with a little updates that you most probably should give a shit. 

One.

                Some sluts admit as whom they truly are with their boobs hanging out of their tubes every single time a guy touches their ass, most skanks do not acknowledge who they have done and sometimes, can lie about who, when and how but the ones I hate most are the fresh legs opening to lead the man of their dreams into just so they could enjoy fame, fortune and a little bit of fun. I reckon most of them do not deserve wearing white on their wedding, most of them should not even be saying vows seeing they have done most damage. To me who judges and the ones with their magnifying glasses, how much can we still until we reach the core within the wax, paint and covers? 

Two.

                I hate liars. I never lie, anymore, other than bragging a little or exaggerating the situation for dramatic effects. I can stand people lying, and then admitting. I could give in after apologies. I will never forgive until I could truly forget. As dear mother would say, ‘forgive and help, especially family’, and that would probably be the reason why family will only be there for you, because they have to.

                I always believe that family comes first, until the break the line. I am not forgiving, it’s a flaw. I do not apply to the principal of giving priority to those who you are related to because trust me, they do not deserve it. Why stick to the ones you have when they are plenty out there? Family, the people you love and could trust. There, if that could not be considered, why be stubborn? 

Three.

                Everyone knows that all of us have an inner beauty, but what I know is that not everyone can love them. When we accept people around us, it did not say on the contract that we would worship them. 

Four.

                For some people, high school is a play, they direct, act and watch with applauses, tears along with a bunch of audience. Maybe there could be a chance that some of us just want to end it quickly and go to college, have a life, for instance. Why is it that people never get tired of having the same drama being remade over and over again, because being cliché is one thing but some people are tired of throwing popcorn at the performers.

The Crowd with the Crossroads.

Wrong place at the wrong time, funny isn’t it? Everything revolves with a ticker timer; every second meant a dot, a dot that leads to the next and the ones after. Sometimes the measurements are right, sometimes it goes out of place. Even when the tape is nearly ending, you let it be just to see how far falls, just like the director of your movie, is watching one of the small, irrelevant characters in the biggest play to fall out. Maybe a little out of laughter, there is a tiny bit of sympathy. But who would actually care to heal your wounds and hold your hand when you cry?

                Irrelevant, I just like this word. It means so much to explain such simple statement that would break someone’s heart. Being irrelevant in someone’s life may be heartbreaking, it’s worse than a break up. At least, you had a goodbye, had a nice farewell and a little connection for the future. That is, you still have another goodbye.

                Irrelevant, as simple as that, some people just don’t get. It’s as though they should be invisible, but mostly they are the big heads blocking the movie screen that somehow has the best view of all. Half of your heart is telling you that it’s alright but the other half is plotting of ways to dump the whole cup of coke in front so they would actually move out rather than comfortably being annoying, especially those with ribbon headbands that you could use to strangle them.

                Irrelevant, how to be casual to unnecessary?

                It just bugs me, how a small change in someone’s attitude could change so much in the revolving world. With a stare, you could chase away those that are coming your way. With a cold ‘hello’ would mean the last word of the friendship without even a smile or nod. With a bunch of used-to laughter to meaningless memory in someone’s head, and that was just a week ago.

                Sometimes, I like to play back fights that I had in the past when I’m perfectly lonely. I laugh at the embarrassing comebacks that I would be glad to take back, I literally frown upon the tears I shed for some unworthy people and add lines for the characters to add up the fire, drama and wrongs of the situation. Isn’t it nice to look back satisfied, saying you directed it instead of falling into people’s manipulative plots, having to climb up the dirty piles of dirt you stupidly stepped into?

Well, that’s the way I see it.

                Someone once asked me whether I contradict as I write, I say yes. It’s impossible to create so many different character with odd personalities at one go, that would be the job of the big guy up there. There are times when I actually shut up to observe someone clearly without laughing at the ridiculousness of their minds, but as an ‘assassin’, this is my job.

                Hold your breath, updates next light.

The Crowd with What You're Wearing Down There.

                It’s funny how sometimes inspirations just come rushing into your blood then pushing each other up against your brain while your fingers could not stop twitching; Just as cliche as it seems, it comes to a good part that it tickles you how good it feels, the song ends leaving you with a vague repeat of the chorus. And then BAM! A better song hits your next shuffle list and there it goes, you write on.

                It’s part of the rule in life, you take this roller-coaster ride. You go up, then down, spin a little while screaming on the top of your lungs, then it’s any way how the Man up there designs it to be. Although, some like it to be called a see-saw where you know what’s next but how could you sleep in peace when someone else is in misery for your entertainment? Could life be as simple as a group of happy people gathered in the arms of God, singing the Gospel Songs and just laugh, and laugh, and laugh all day?

                Ironically, Satan doesn’t work this way, nor how any other humans do. I’d like to put it this way, we are all walking in the new Michel Perry’s killer hills, you look good, you’re happy that you look good and you keep on moving for the show. When you walk fast, you meet new people. Your life changes. Then, your heel starts bleeding while you struggle, you break your heel and slow down. It’s hard to catch up, but you didn’t bother, you just waited for the slower ones to be where you are. Though, they seem to exceed you easily, while everyone’s wearing the same pair, who would bother trading goodness for pain?

                You walk, you drag yourself, you cry...

                And BAM! The see-saw falls on the other side and you rise! You find yourself in front of Vans. You buy the best looking pair because you’re just like that, but it still hurts your wound. You jog in a certain speed comfortably, it’s hard because not everyone your age wears sneakers, until you truly find a group, which you will be spending the part of your run with.

                That’s life, maybe?

                Maybe along the road as you run with the gang you enjoy, you just pinch yourself at the thought that you could have thrown the broken heel at someone you hate. Maybe as you joke around, gagging, you see some people from the past who refused to lend a helping hand walking alone in tears and a broken iPod which obviously was stepped hard. Maybe as you grow old and have to use a walking stick after those thousand of falls, thankfully with a gigantic balloon-tube-like pair of arms to stretch and save you, your brain sings ‘maybe...maybe...maybe...’.

 All the coulda, shoulda, woulda of the memories, so many to regret, so many to change that was once before, so many of the kiss goodbyes, so many of those that you could not even recall.

From the heels that you once wore, how many people did you use those pair of heels to step one? With the nicely worn sneakers, did you kick the asses just because you could do so without any fight back? How many times have your walking stick saved your life from nasty people racing to push?

How many times did you bother fighting back?

The Crowd with the Bitch

                I usually start my post with a situation or a few examples where you could easily relate yourself to or some joke to laugh at to cut the steam but today, I rather do something a little personal. Maybe a column is just like your diary, but you share, advise people the things you learned and conclude with a smile. Today is different, just different.

                Since last year, I told myself that once I met the right people in life, I will not make the same mistake, I will not be a nasty bitch that always throw temper, I will always listen even though I just want to smack them in the face for being so ridiculous at times or maybe just be the person I always knew I was instead of being a nice girl who listens.

                Then, I realize, I’ve been trying too hard.

                If Blair Waldorf can be a bitch and get away with it along with Chuck Bass, I don’t mind a Dan Humphrey either. Regina George has personal victimized every single one in North Shore High School and even till now, she’s a legend next to Lord_Voldemort7. Heinous bitch is the term most used to describe Kat Stratford but she definitely had Heath Ledger quit smoking for her.

                So today, if Bernice Goh decided to put a little more eyeliner, smirk when your skirt shows a little too much down there or even stop being the one every thought she was. I wonder, I sure wonder, how long I will laugh until someone says “I know you, you’re not like this.”

                Damn right, you’ve got that wrong.

                So I’ve decided, where else to dedicate a post of love-hate towards to express the inner me to the outer world and the whole lot of little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere. 

To those who has a pathetic emptiness in your meaningless, consumer-driven lives (except Shu Yao, of course),

                If lying is acceptable, then I can swallow, breathe and continue scheming until I’ve gotten all I wanted. If lying is to gain sympathy, then I’d only want it from the only man I love: Jesus Christ. If lying is all I have to do in life, then good, I’m half way there.

                I do not lie to fit in, I fit in to lie. I believe when I die, God will pull a long list of lies I’ve told and it just goes on and on and on and on... I also believe that my lies are not harmful as I’ve never spread rumours about someone nor lie about someone’s family background and couldn’t keep up with my story. I lie to make some people feel better about themselves, I lie to make myself seem like a better person, I lie to lied.

                It may be ironic to some to put such a Holy name and Holy man into an armature’s scrape of words into a post like this. But if this column reflects my life, then He has been the man in it. Enough said.

                Maybe by learning through my mistakes, I told myself to never ever be the one people used to hate, bitch and whatever they did. So I changed into a spontaneous chic who has most people close and lovely people closest, and what they have in common is they all like the girl I tried to be.

                Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow, it might be a new day for my fresh start. I’m not troubled, I’m just tired. Tired of being nice, tired of keeping myself within and tired of every single lie I  told because I miss the honesty that will make the line frown.

                Not too late now? Don’t say I didn’t warn you, the bitch will be back. 

Credits: Quotes from Ten Things I Hate About You

Re(s) III

@JoleneLeong
lol.. that was deep for something that was only skin deep... yes... minor word play! booyahahahaha 
Well, I quote 'True Beauty' "There's something more than it meets the eye."

@Big D.
hey im anonymous acidently press send without writing my nick name heh sorry...hmm i think i know who your talking abt on this one..reall deep but its good 
You just made me sad :( thanks :D

@DragonSlayer
well, I think that being a critic, one must muster a lot, lot, lot of courage. Being booed at is definitely not FUN! That 'Like' box may be of little help for those who runs out of words/comments, e.g. ME! TEEHEE! Well, maybe people will just start liking the post instead of commenting, so make up your mind about it.
Well, you just can't seem to please everyone, don't you? OK! Will set it up soon! Tho, I do prefer comments than likes.
P.S. Nice choice in name ;)

@FarhaA
Well written! :) 
Thanks!


@FarhaA
'But for some reasons the person who counselled me not to fall for the ‘dark age’ is becoming one of them, crawling and fighting to climb up the social stairs.' I have to agree with this! 
Another reason why it was there

@FarhaA
I'd like to use your bathroom someday! xD Hahaha. 
Permission granted! Come over ny day!

@Big D
really deep and good with emotion
I tried not to put in so much h8 in it, so yeah, hope it's mostly +positive!

The Crowd with the Critics

                Sometimes, I consider-

                Have you ever experienced a little situation where you need advices but what the rest do is causing you more problems, headaches and a little comments way past the limit.

To you readers who won’t read, rate or comment,

                Should I add a ‘Like’ box? So you all could just click for my sake?

                If being critical is the chance of improving, then what about being a critic to allow someone to grow? Will they blossom or buried underneath within?

                You look around you and an inner voice whispers, A, A, D, B, A, C, F! You judge the outlook from hairstyles to shoe brands while you put on the expensive dress you bought from starving yourself so the others will smile and put you in the A box. Right, or wrong?

                There’s a reason why  I do not like publishing or spreading the existence of this blog. A blog is just like a MySpace page, everything about you that is either acceptable or disapproved by community, it’s all there. A friend or stranger, there’s always something to hate, which would be the reason why from the very beginning.

                Simon Cowell, a famous critic, has discovered many talented artists like Westlife, Kelly Clarkson and other American Idol stars. Yet, he has certainly been the man who crushed many’s dreams and for some reason, he’s still being put as a peddle stone??

               

                After many drafts and cut outs, I sometimes think the worst critic in my life might just be myself.

               

The Crowd with their Ghost from the Past

                You see an old friend who you never ended the friendship the way you wanted, it was all typical with the common phase: Stop talking to each other. She was with the group of people you knew for years but never liked yet you greet time with courtesy. Here and then she smiles or the others, she won’t be bothered. Before you don’t really care but now, you realize everything is just a stupid game that everybody’s in it, but there’s no one to play. So as you were reaching out for her, trying to get her attention, she looks straight up and walked off with another jerk you always thought was, a jerk.

                Then you tilt your head and say, “Hey, that was me.”

On Wednesday, a friend of mine, AL got offended when I clarified myself that I only forgive but never forget. Although the tone was all pure and nothing sarcastic, it reminded her of someone and to her, same line, same bitch to the words. Then, it got me into thinking, wondering that even though that was said some time last year, is the past still in the present?

                One of the friends I lost after New Year’s was the one friendship that swept past my feet the whole year without me realizing. I was younger, more reckless, bolder in anyway and truthfully, I would have hated myself then. Sometimes being immature is something, and being over confident is another. At that age of 14, I thought I was a little caught in between. So here’s two years later, do she still hate that bitch who never stopped complaining, talking and being a complete fool of herself?

                I always loved looking back at the photographs that were taken back then and my whole past come flowing in front of my eyes. So there were the old friendships, the bitches who made me who I am today, the guys I used to have a crush on and my favorite, the enemies. Yet as time passes and people change, if things happen once again, will it ever be the same?

                How can we hold onto grudges that happened so long ago? Should we continue bitching and passing out the past when it should be long gone? And how long until a new drama comes to kick off the anecdotes of many years? Could we for once, forgive and start over?

                Stating many lies and through everything, everyone will have new friends, new people to back stab and old ones you forget. Let’s just say it’s a new year and everything else should be too, should we swim into a sea of memories then pull out the plug to flush them all down the drain?

                How long is it for you to move one and how long more for you to fall back into the ones who made you shed a tear?

                Leave a comment, and until next time, I’ll continue with The Crowd with their Ghost of the Present.

The Crowd with their Bras

                Just as you are talking to your boyfriend who says you are the only girl for him and he only sets his eyes on you, but just as you start onto the topic of the day, his eyes suddenly twitch to the door and just as you wonder, a strong scent of Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker is slowly absorbed by you and goes right up to your mind. Before you know it, your boyfriend’s eyes follow her double-D boobs that is enhanced by her slutty silk corset top and her mini tight black shorts followed by the stockings and pump boots. Lust follows her to the bar as she asks for a drink then she slowly turns around to spot the one she thinks she could fool for the night, then she goes for it and have everything free for the night, easily just like herself.

                With that, big tits, presentable body shape and perfect legs that could seduce any horny men, is that the fantasy of men these days?

                I honestly don’t mind when people mock my boobs or even laugh after they ask me for my cup size. If I’m an A, I’d rather go all the way. Why be shy when I know there are so much more that I have and why should I mind if I know they will not magically grow big into the size that society accepts? I’d rather have that as my only flaw and have something better than tits- brains.

                I don’t mean that no one can have both, beauty and brains. I know many people who have both and both of them are equally. Rebecca is the best example I have, beautiful, talented and achieved great results from both sports and studies. Sometimes I wonder how could such a great person she is, she never brags but in a way, she knows the best way to present her gifts which I think, is her best gift she ever gotten.

                Or maybe I can be wrong; sometimes beauty is part of life. I never blame those young teenagers who are desperate to get over the 1- sign on their age. They bitch, backstab and seduce at such young age with the acted out innocence just to get whatever they want just like how they are going to do for the next thirty year, except it will change from men to rich men then old billionaires. If you think you want to earn your own money and get everything by being the woman among the men then you’re wrong, you’ll be a business woman not a socialite. You do not need the plastic surgeries or neither the botox nor you need to fake the inner self just to get a little spot in society. All you need is the right mind within you, and could you ever accomplish when you’ve never done something right for the best future?

                I know someone who once knew what she wanted and I thought maybe at some point she will know what to do. If your future is all about the social, always make sure you know what you’re dealing with. I never seem to find smoking could uplift your social status nor screwing every guy in town could make you any better. But for some reason the person who counselled me not to fall for the ‘dark age’ is becoming one of them, crawling and fighting to climb up the social stairs.

                If everyone in the world uses others’ point of beauty to define how they really look, then what’s the point of having the freedom to voice out the inner you? And ironically, we tend to ignore the beauty praised and agreed by others.

                So you will find yourself asking your reflection in the mirror, are you really beautiful?

I believe that everyone have a moment of life that they will find their beauty before they die. Some are proudly presented on the outside while some are still hiding within, waiting for the right person and the right moment to spread its wings to fly. I believe it too, that someday I will find the inner beauty. Maybe I have to wait for the inner bitch of me to die off and welcome the new character that will make my life a lot happier with gleeful people around me.

                So, have you found your beauty?

Re(s) II

@ Big D
i think its great
and i like how its put haha
but columnists dont use foul words lehh heh 
Thanks&& I will bear it in mind ;)

@Ron Stoppable
As i last recalled, I AM RON. NO ONE ELSE IS RON. KAPISH?
You'll be a great columnist, trust me. 
Si, Si, Ron. Thanks Ronnie!

@anonymous
my favourite one so far =] 
Thanks! You made my week! But if possible, please use a nickname :)

@Yao
your bathroom is NOT magical!
Yes, it is. You've just never been there.

The Crowd with the Wonders

                This morning, as I shut my alarm one more time after the other six attempts half an hour ago, I finally dragged myself to the bathroom as I used my secret weapon- icy cold water to freeze my face from falling back to sleep. I was numb at the moment, yet I said to myself, hey, I could write this in my column.

                School was different because for the first time in my life, I was excited. I was glad that it will my last ‘first’ day of school. I can’t stop myself from screaming ‘One more year!’ inside my head like Bellatrix Lestrange mock the rest with her epic line, ‘I killed Sirius Black!’. So I wondered, if I write this in my column, will it be any interesting?

                I slowly led myself to the beach hall where are the students, new or old, were waiting for the next instructions from Yao. I went to the parents and informed them to follow the big crowd to the English Garden after their children were in line. I thought my impression was great to the adults until I found two paper cups lying on the bench. I took the cups up, failed to find a dustbin then left them at the same spot. I saw frowns and disapprovals that I was sure I had to clarify myself here.

                Today, I did something I knew I would never have done the year before: I voted for the girl I dislike most in class for a position I thought she will suck at. She was alright in Form One but I was glad I never met her in class anymore for two years. Last year was dreadful whenever I had to sit with her for Chemistry. It wasn’t just the annoying tone in her high-low voice, the fact that she always answered questions by using the book in her hands every single lesson may have contributed to her irritating rate towards the class but the one I loathe her most, is every single inch I see of her from top to bottom, who bothers going inside out?

                As this year’s start of something new, I decided to do something that I wouldn’t, but I should. So when it was time to vote, I held my hand high but she didn’t get the job as she only had seven votes. So, I thought, if the small part of my never change, when will it ever do?

                Yet, from a small incident I released my temper on Doctor Master and Wendy, I immediately regretted because who was I to judge and help them decide? But I wanted them to know, the only competition you should have and the only one you should care is between you and yourself. Who cares if Belinda had a lesson more of Physics than you? Because in the end, after this phase, the only one who will be looking at the results are yourself.

                During the rain after school, and due to the guards who caused the massive jam, I wonder for the third time, what is the use of them to take care of traffic, rules and instructions or even traffic police to control the situation when none of us cooperate, compromise and even set up a plan to work together. How are things able to work out when they are a thing combined with others without the screws and equipments?

                Sometimes, I think my bathroom is a spiritual corner with God’s blessings. Nicole found her passion for Jewelery one day while bathing and today, I had a thought. How long more for the little incidents that I could insert will fade away? How long more will I have the time to type and think of what to say? How long more until I decided to give up?

                And when will be the last of everything until something new comes around?